


Ket and Orem Fake Date

by Domoz



Category: Critical Hit (Podcast)
Genre: AU (Season 4), F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 17:27:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4844054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Domoz/pseuds/Domoz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what you'd expect (spoilers for season 4)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ket and Orem Fake Date

They go back to Whitestone.

It's nothing at all like last time- there's no fanfare, no mist around the keep. No one stops them on their way in.

 

Trelle grabs the sleeve of Orem's robe and leans in close with as serious a look as she can muster with how exited she is.

“ _I_ _know,”_ says Orem, ”That you're exited to see her. I want to see her too. But we have to make sure that we're even welcome here first.

 

(Well. Welcome is a weak term. Orem's parents certainly wouldn't kick him _out,_ they would just make it as obvious as possible that they would like for him to leave. They could probably get at least a few days of rest before it got too uncomfortable to bear).

 

They aren't lead in to see them like last time, Orem just goes to the door, takes a deep breath, and knocks. After a moment they hear Brall's voice as he says, “Enter”

 

None of the group makes eye contact with him as Orem opens the door and walks to the front of his desk. The conversation is in elven, as before, and Brall says, “I didn't expect to see you back. What a surprise”

 

The tone of voice, even to those who don't speak elven, would imply that he's not surprised at all.

Orem does a good job of keeping a straight face to his father, especially after everything.

He says, in common, “We need your help”

 

Brall raises an eyebrow and stays silent. It's the biggest signal that he's willing to listen that he's going to give.

So Orem explains as best he can about Spud, about the plan they've come up with to stop him, about the cold iron, about Spud and the thing on his hand and how he seems to have put the faywild into far more order than it ever should be in.

Randus hands over all of the theories and calculations they'd been able to figure about what he'd done and Brall looks them over.

 

He nods, says, “I'll see what I can do.”

He gives his aid and dismisses the whole group in the same phrase. Orem bows his head, only sounds the slightest bit strained when he says, “Thank you”

The rest of them get the hint and follow him out.

-

They get put in the same rooms as the last time. Ket snorts and says, “I'm surprised _we_ got given rooms at all”

Kammis goes to meet Orem, first. They smile and touch foreheads and Orem asks how it's been here and she grimaces and says, “Oh it's been _fun”_ in what is perhaps the most sarcastic tone of voice ever spoken. Then she moves over to meet Trelle and the rest of the group looks away to give them some privacy as they greet each other.

  


(She stays in the room with them late into the night, telling stories of how it's been here- _not fun, especially not since the wierds have started to show up_ \- and Orem and Trelle and sometimes Torq take turns telling her about the adventures they had to go through to get here.)

Once, during one of her own stories, Kammis sighs and says, “They keep trying to set me up with- _you know-_ they call them eligible bachelors. I just don't know how to explain to them...”

Trelle pouts and takes Kammis's hand, and Kammis laughs nervously, “I have actually been thinking about it- telling them about us, I mean.”

Trelle gasps happiliy, says, _“oh!-”_ but before she can go on Kammis says sadly, “I'm afraid to do it alone though. Just us, I mean.”

She looks at Orem, “You know how they are”

He nods, and then blanches as she goes on.

“It's just, I was thinking... If we were _both_ dating people they didn't approve of it wouldn't be so bad for _us._ ””

The room suddenly seems very quiet.

Orem makes a few faces and then after a moment says, “What? But I'm- I'm not...”

“Not for real” Kammis interjects, “Just while you're here. Just to get them used to the idea of me and Trelle”

Torq laughs, and Trelle can't suppress her giggle.

“I don't know” he says, “That plan sounds kind of- well it's not the best plan”

And Kammis says “ _Please._ I need to get them off of my back.”

  


What really strikes them-or at least Orem and Trelle (and Ket, though he makes no indication that he's realized) is that she sounds afraid. She's scared of what their parents are going to do.

  


Orem bites his lip and sighs.

“I guess I would want that, too”'

And then he looks around at the others in the room. Of the three of them, They seems to approve of Randus the most, in some strange way, Torq is laughing so hard it seems unlikely that he would even _agree_ , and he borders the line of _convincing_ either way.

Which leaves Ket, and by the time Orem looks over at him he's realized it too and has a shit-eating grin on his face. He is the best, if not the only option to make this look convincing.

Orem want's to say he can't believe he's doing this, but instead he says, “...Ket?”

And oh, all of them can hear the smugness in his voice when he says, “Uh huh?”

Orem would like nothing more than to punch him, right now. It's going to take some extra effort to make this believable. He sighs , pinches the bridge of his nose and waits until Ket seems to have sobered up enough to take this seriously.

He says, “I'll pay you”

-

So Kammis goes in holding Trelle’s hand and Orem goes in holding Ket’s and mostly she does all the talking because Orem is struggling keeping a straight face as it is. Ket just looks bored, which is his default state, anyways and is convincing enough.

“-and we're together, the both of us”, to her credit her voice didn't shake the whole time.

Their parents don't have much to say, they just share a look and Brall says, “Very well then.” Before the awkward silence can grow too long the four of them bow stiffly and back out of the room.

Ket closes the door behind you and as soon as it's closed they all sigh. Trelle fans herself, obviously sweating. Kammis leans heavily on the wall, but she sounds relieved, “Well, I think the hardest part is over. Hopefully. Thank you.”

Ket rolls his eyes ans shoots back, “Over for _you_ maybe. _We_ have to keep this up until we leave”

And _then_ he lets go of Orem's hand, either because he's just remembered he doesn't have to anymore, or because he wanted to help prove that point. If they're going to make this believable they have to keep up this charade.

Orem gets a sinking feeling in his stomach. Somewhere in the back of his mind he gets the feeling that this is going to cost him a _lot._

-

Ket and Orem have to compromise a lot to get this to work.

Neither of them are particularly keen on the idea of doing it, but they hold hands sometimes. Often enough, but not _too_ often because they wouldn't do that even if they really were dating. They're both very specifically avoiding talking about what it would be like if they really _were_. It might make things more convincing, certainly, but neither of them are quite up to having that conversation.

Ket starts standing closer than Orem is used to and the first time Orem pushes him away Ket grimaces and says that it's a body language thing, that he's making this look as convincing as possible and _would you stop looking so stiff, it's kinda ruining what I'm trying to do here._

 

The first real issue comes up when it's time to rest. Both of them know what will look more convincing, and neither of them want to go through with it. Ket follows Orem into his room and waits by the wall, arms crossed. Orem sits on the bed and Ket crosses his arms and says, “So, should I sleep on the floor?”

Orem can't believe he hears himself saying it, but he shakes his head, “No, it'll seem wrong if someone comes in”

“Are you expecting someone?”

Orem can't hold Ket's gaze, “If they have even the slightest suspicion... and even then there might be people who hear gossip- Yes. Probably”

Ket looks at the ground, too, though it doesn't seem to be out of embarrassment, “So, in the same bed then?”

Orem pulls a face, “I guess so”

 

Unfortunately the only way for both of them to fit on the bed comfortably and without touching _too_ much is with Ket's head in Orem's lap. He complains, of course, he says, “Your legs are way to bony to be doing this, Rivendorn. My neck is gonna be hurting in the morning”

Orem says, “I’m not comfortable either, and be __quiet_ _ ”

 

Ket settles down and either falls asleep or fakes it well enough that it doesn't matter. Orem takes a long suffering breath, starts to meditate, and waits for the regret to hit him.

-

On the second day Orem gets an invitation, for him and guest to attend a banquet- Kammis comes to find him and reveals that she's been invited in much the same way. It makes Orem mad-  there really isn't time to be wasting on stuff like this.

But it's his parents, this is exactly something they would do, to make sure that they were really dedicated, either to each other or to the lie.

 

Ket tries to argue that if they don't go- that if _none_ of them go it won't make them suspect, and as tempting as that sounds it would also be devastating to his, and more importantly Kammis' social life here in Whitestone. The best option is to suck it up and try and find some fancy clothes that Ket can fit in to.

  
“This” he insists, “You're paying extra for”

Orem brings Ket, Kammis brings Trelle,and for the first time the two of them get to see the hell that is eladrin social events. To Orem and Kammis it's much the same as last time, same people, same cold atmosphere, except this time there's dancing; and Brall isn't even _there._

But Althea is, and anything that happens here will almost certainly make it back to him.

Orem made a point of them dancing in front of her at least once. He was never very good at this, and Ket doesn't know the steps, but at least they don't seem to be doing as badly as Trelle and Kammis are. Those two attract more stares than they do.

The two of them are forced to stay close pretty much the whole evening, and then, after the worst is over they don't even get a break from it.

Ket doesn't seem particularly grumpy,and he puts his head in Orem's lap without a complaint and falls asleep without saying a word about the disaster that was the night.

The thought that runs through Orem's head that night is 'well it could have gone worse'.

-

The next day Orem goes to the library. Ordinarily he would never bring Ket along, and he really doesn't want to bring him _now_ because he wants some time to himself. But he does ask e, and after explaining to him just how quickly rumors spread and how vicious they can be he agrees.

(That is- there is always the chance that if people see Orem walking around _alone_ after the night before there's almost certainly going to be a rumor that they've broken up or something similar, and that would be more of a pain to deal with than having Ket around)

The particular book that he's looking for is in the oldest, least sensibly organize part of the library and the both of them wind up shoved pretty close together between the shelves. Ket is helping to look, at least.

  


They both hear the footsteps at the same time. Orem freezes up for a moment and then looks up at Ket, who, out of nowhere suddenly has a crafty looking smile on his face.

Ket leans in and in a low whisper asks, “You want to make this _really_ convincing?”

(A rhetorical question, apparently , because what happens next happens before Orem can even process what's going on).

The moment Ket kisses Orem is the same moment that Illiam peeks around the corner of the bookshelf. Illiam yelps, eyes wide and Ket doesn't pull away until he gathers himself enough to mumble, “I'm- I'm so sorry for interrupting. I- I'll just go!”

They listen to him walk away, to a door shut somewhere. Ket gets to smirk for a moment longer before Orem pulls himself together enough to react. Then he jabs Ket in the chest with the corner of the book and in a loud, only slightly hoarse whisper asks, “What was _that?”_

He looks so pleased with himself Orem could just throttle him right now.

'That,” says Ket, “was convincing.”

“Convincing to _who?_ Who is Illiam going to tell? My _father?”_

Orem doesn't raise his voice but he does hit Ket with the book until he says “Ouch, _ouch,_ sorry. I _get it, I'm sorry”_

At least, thinks Orem, he can pass of his blushing as embarrassment. The reasoning feels a bit weak, like maybe that's not the _whole_ reason, but no one's asking him and _he's_ not planning on examining it any deeper than that.

__-_ _

The fourth night when Ket shows up to the room he doesn't go right to sleep. Instead he says, “Look. These sleeping arrangements we have aren’t really working for me”

He pauses, “You know, the one here who actually sleeps”

Orem raises an eyebrow but he can't exactly protest right off. Ket hasn't complained about it out loud but Orem has seen him reach to rub the back of his neck more often than he should be.

“Well what do you suggest then?”

Ket sighs, hand on his neck as though to exaggerate the point, “The only other way we can both fit on there is if we're both lying down. I know it's not the most comfortable for you, but I've seen you meditate while lying down”

“I can take it or leave it. Honestly at this point we might as well try- I can live without a weight on my legs when I'm trying to focus.

 

So, they try. Ket settles in and seems comfortable for what is possibly the first time since they've come here, and Orem lies down facing him.

It's not too bad, but as Ket starts to drift off Orem starts to remember the two big complaints he'd had about this to start with.

First is that there's hardly any room to move around at all without them touching each other, the second is that the two of them laying straight like boards across from each other on the bed is perhaps the least convincing thing someone could see if they looked in on them.

(And, as far as Orem has noticed no one has done that yet, which means it's only a matter of time)

The third complaint becomes very apparent as Ket falls asleep. He relaxes , as he has been except that their positions now mean that when he moves it's towards Orem, and before too long he's put an arm over Orem and practically pulled him in close. Which solves the second complaint, but not the first, at all.

 

That is to say, Orem is now very, very, nervous, because the situation he finds himself in now is one of the most cliched moments he could hope to find in any eladrin romance novel.

Except, normally in the books they'd talk about feelings and kiss and here in real life Ket is asleep, and he can't do that, and the embarrassment slowly fades away.

And, interestingly enough now he's close enough to listen to Ket breath , and the steady in an out seems to make meditation just a bit easier.

 

(And, he swears in the night he sees a sliver of light as someone opens the door and looks and shuts it right back )

Orem doesn't make a comment in the morning, when Ket wakes up and has to unwrap his arms from around him, and Ket is still so groggy that Orem's not even sure he's realized.

-

On the fifth night, before they even start discussing sleeping arrangements, someone comes to the door. A gnome, who has a message from Orem's father.

He wants to speak with Orem. And Only Orem.

He bows his head to the messenger, and swallows only a _little_ bit visibly before he says, “Tell him I'll meet him shortly. Just give me a moment to get ready.”

Orem closes the door and then drags his hands down his face. Hes a grown man. He's fought _gods,_ he's stopped the _void._ And his father still has the power to turn him into a nervous wreck, like he's a little kid again.

Ket silently sits, fingers laced together, on the edge of the bed, watching Orem as he redresses himself and brushes his hair.

The expression on Orem's face is something in between 'pained' and 'incredulous'.

He changes his robe to something fancier, and around the thousandth time he's smoothed out the wrinkles Ket is suddenly there next to him. He's got a hand on Orem's shoulder and he's saying ,”Calm down, _calm down_ ”

Orem is stuck in between wanting to yell _how do you expect me to be calm_ and crying , so what ends up coming out is a _whine_. So Ket puts his other hand on Orem's shoulder, leans down, looks him in the eye and says, “It can't go any worse than last time, can it? He's probably just going to tell you what he's figured out. Just-keep calm, alright?”

 _Calm_ is quite the word. Orem closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, then two. He can't quite reach calm but he reaches _calm enough._ Calm enough to not be obviously nervous and shaky. Ket steps back and it's only then that he realizes that he had leaned down and touched their foreheads together, but when Orem looks up Ket just gives him a sympathetic nod. He's got to do this.

It can't go worse, right?

-

Orem goes to meet him on the same balcony as before- as if he needed any more reminder. Brall is there waiting, hands behind his back, stiff as ever.

He does bow his head to acknowledge Orem approaching, at least. And then, to his surprise, sighs.

“We _are_ glad to see that you're still alive, you know”, he says. Which is not at all what Orem expected to hear.

Brall never says that he was wrong, and he never apologizes, but up there on the balcony he comes the closest Orem can remember in a long time. He says that he agrees, that they can't leave Spud alone like he wanted to do with the Lords of the Faywild. He says that his study is going well,that he should have a solid plan figured out before the end of the week.

He looks tired, Orem realizes. He must have spent more time on this than he's let on. Almost breathlessly he says, “Thank you”

And then, as he turns to leave he hears, “One more thing”

Which stops him cold. Things were going _so well._

Brall says, “I suspect you've realized at this point that your mother and I don't exactly approve of you or your sister's choice of partner”

Oh. Right.

They both remain silent for a long moment, Brall waits for a response that doesn't come, and so he goes on, “but you're both adults now, and if makes you happy, then so be it”

Then he turns away, “And, if you would send him this way, I would like to talk to Ket”

 

-

When he gets back to the room he finds Ket already sprawled out on the bed, already halfway asleep. He does look up and rub the sleep out of his eyes.

“Mm. Everything go alright?”

“Um... Yeah It did. More or less. I think.”

“You think?”

“Well he uh.. he asked to talk to you. By name. First name, actually.”

Ket sits up, very slowly and looking very confused, “Me?”

Orem nods, and they stare across the room at each other.

Then Ket stands up and shakes his head, “I don't like where this is going”

“I don't, either. Just-don't blow this”

Ket rolls his eyes, “I won't. Not after all this”

“And don't embarrass me either. “

Instead of the snarky comment like he's expecting Ket gives him a serious look and says , “I won't. Not to him.”

He wasn’t expecting it, but Orem finds that he has faith.

-

Ket meets him out on that balcony and if Orem were watching he would be surprised to find that Brall actually turns to meet him.

And Ket says, to start, “I'm not here to impress you, and I'm not here to argue. Just say what you have to say”

And that honestly catches Brall off guard, perhaps more-so than anything that's happened this last week.

“Very well, then.. I was simply going to warn you If your hurt my son, or make him unhappy in any way, it is not going to end well for you”

“Right” Ket almost doesn't stop himself from chuckling,”I wouldn’t worry about that. Is that all?”

“That is all.”

-

“So?”

“He threatened me.”

“He-what?”

Orem had spent that short conversation pacing back and forth, not nervous, exactly, but restless, and he'd rushed up to Ket as soon as he'd come in the door.

“He warned me not to hurt you”

The only thing that comes out of his mouth is “oh” because that's not at all what he expected his father to do.

Ket just laughs, “I feel really sorry for Trelle if she had to go through that”

-

The next night there's a knock on the door- Ket already fast asleep, which means that Orem wakes him up when he worms his way out from under his arm and he groans.

Before he can complain Orem has made it to the door and slid it open and to his surprise it's his mother. She bows her head and that's enough to get the point across that he needs to come outside, to talk.

So Orem stands with his mother in that darkened hallway as she tells him that she's worried. She's worried and his father is too, and when he goes and do this thing with Spud to please be safe, please.

She takes Orems hand and pulls him down until their foreheads touch and distantly he realizes that he's taller than her, now. It's very probably the closest moment he's had with his mother since long before he went to the Cerulean Academy. Then she lets him go, nods one last time and is as distant as she's ever been.

When he goes back into the room it's on unsteady legs. His throat is tight and burning and he knows exactly why- because suddenly he's scared. He thought he had lost everything once, and this time it could happen again, for good.

He's got tears running down his face when he goes back into the room, and no energy to make excuses about dust or pollen. Orem sits on the foot of the bed with his hands clenched in his lap tired and just emotionally exhausted and unsure what to do. At some point Ket moves and sits next to him, silently puts a hand on Orem's back and lets him lean on him. And when the tears dry up the hand slips off his back and without a word they lie down and sleep.

(Well, Ket sleeps. Orem focuses very diligently on timing his breathing with Ket's so that he doesn't have to focus on anything else.)

-

Early morning two days later and they're leaving.

Brall hands over the crystal, a fist sized green thing, and not terribly elegant. He says that there's a device in the basement of the Cerulean Academy that Spud is almost certainly using, that if they can sneak down and slot it in there it should drain his power significantly, and that besides, a good solid fireball to the cold iron on his arm should weaken him too.

Then, that's it- Kammis is still staying and her and Trelle share a kiss right there in front of everyone. Orem looks away, Ket doesn't say anything, they _don't_ , because that's who this was all for, wasn't it? So that they had that opportunity?

Ket and Orem share a long look.

They end up holding hands until a few miles out of Whitestone.

-

That night when they stop to rest Ket bites his lip and says, “I do think you owe me some money”

Somehow he doesn't seem all that pleased about it getting it.

There's almost an immediate change. Where Orem had grown used to seeing small smiles there's suddenly the bored poker face he used to know, and he's not sitting quite so close and _oh,_ well _that_ would be what he had meant by body language all those days ago. All at once everything is back to normal for Ket, like the last week didn't just happen.

And so _fast,_ too. It hurts, for some reason, leaves a hollow in the pit of Orem's stomach that Ket was able to stop that fast. He finds himself meditating on that more on that than he is on Spud.

He can't decide now, just what really _was_ Ket and what was an act. Certainly when they were alone, that was really him right? All the _be calms_ and the hand on his back. It had to be. He thinks about how it was strange, how nice it was to have someone that close to him, even if that was Ket (or... maybe especially because it was Ket. He can't tell anymore) . The only thing he knows now is that he's got a problem. A crush, so to speak.

He didn't think he'd miss having an arm wrapped around him,but he does, and he's mad that he does, but he does.

He's just glad that he's alone on watch when he remembers the kiss in the library. Because in retrospect it was a _good_ kiss. Probably the best he's ever had.

Orem looks over at where Ket is on his bedroll, arm over _nothing_ and breathing , in, out.

It _had_ to be Ket.

-

So now it's, more or less, just straight shot to Spud. They avoid the wierds and the fractal plazas and before long are in the Spring Wood.

At this point the party has had plenty of time to notice, Orem is crabby and jumpy which, given where they're going makes total sense, and Ket is distant and somewhat annoyed, which seems right, for him in the faywild.

But no- Orem isn't mad about Spud. He's thinking with more frequency every passing day now, about how he's got to get another kiss, a real one, before they march off to their deaths.

 

It just  _had_ to be Ket.

 

He's sick of focusing on this, instead of the actual dangers, so that day as they're walking he makes his decision. He's getting his kiss, tonight. He's getting his kiss and that's going to be the end of this nonsense and he really hopes no one picks up just how much he's going to be staring at Ket, until then.

-

That night when they make camp Orem offers to take first watch and no one argues- and then he grabs Ket's arm before he can wander off to sleep and asks, “Ket, can we talk?”

He looks confused, glances around and says, “Alright, go for it”

“In private, I mean”

As private as they can get without wandering into the Spring Wood is around the next tree, and Ket follows him, arms crossed.

“What's the about?”

He seems more concerned than annoyed, which is a good start. The problem is that Orem can't remember any of the ways he planned on saying this now that the time has come. He can feel the blush rising up his face as he sputters, “Ket I-just- um. I was-”

He has to shake his head and stop himself from embarrassing himself even farther- and Ket just watches, same concerned expression, very obviously trying to read Orem.

 

He can't help his nervous habit of twisting his hair in his fingers as he tries to figure out what to say. Before he can Ket says, “I think I might be able to guess what you're going for, if you'll let me”

Orem nods shakily- this couldn't be going worse, what's the harm?

 

He doesn't say anything, like Orem is expecting, instead he leans down and runs a thumb up Orem's jaw and kisses him-slowly and deliberately and not at all like the kiss in the library, and for all that even better. When he pulls back he exhales, just slightly and says very quietly , “please tell me I guessed right”

And to answer him Orem leans in to close the little space Ket had left to kiss him right back.

-

The two of them are holding hands and walking towards what is almost certainly going to be their deaths. Orem has butterflies in his stomach but for an entirely different, considerably better reason.

He asks Ket,  “So how much of what you did in Whitestone was real, then? Or- when did it become real”

It's finally Ket's turn to look embarrassed, now, as he says, “Pretty much all of it. I think you've got it backwards.

He pauses , “Back there I was acting how I wanted to more than I was after we left”

“Hold on-”says Orem, “Then how long-?”

Ket chuckles and wraps an arm around Ket's waist, “Too long. But what can I say, I'm a good actor”

 


End file.
